talk about a feel good story to start the day, fun read and great writing. it's nice to read something positive in a day and age where stories of callous behavior dominate
Regarding the AKC - that would be the luggage thief, Sam Brinton. I believe it is a kink thing to wear dog masks and engage in fetish. There is no end to where this goes and I think that is the point.
May you live long and prosper at The Free Press. I enjoyed this piece about almost nothing, except for the very valuable advice to communicate rather than ruminate. Can’t wait for your next piece.
I can't quite explain why, but this introduction that Olivia has written for herself made me emotional - a bit weepy - but in such a good way. I suspect it's because of how genuine and earnest she is and how rare that seems to be in this wicked cancel culture era. I look forward to reading everything she writes now! The Free Press is restoring my faith in journalism bit by bit. And I love that I don't agree with every single thing that I read on here. I also love the irony that Bari's refusal to be cancelled was the springboard for TFP.
I went to send the piece to a friend and then struggled to explain exactly what was so compelling that I wanted to share it. I realized that it was not what the piece was about (as one commenter said, it was "about almost nothing") it was about how I felt. I was both under-rested and undercaffeinated, and yet I found myself smiling throughout.
Well said, SandiB, and I totally agree! I don’t always agree with what TFP offers, but the fact that Bari allows us this platform to openly comment our disagreements, without fear of being cancelled, is why I will continue to support TFP. Plus, except for a couple of commenters we’ve all come to recognize, people are generally well mannered and respectful even in their disagreements.
"...I suspect it's because of how genuine and earnest she is...."
Sadly, both of these will quickly succumb under the withering attacks of reality...like the $5,000/month rent she faces in the metropolis of her choice. They will be replaced with writing what sells.
There remains room, however, for writing for the sake of wanting to write. I look forward to The Free Press giving Ms. Reingold the opportunity to do so, perhaps a monthly sidebar on a topic of her interest.
I am an illiterate (but learning) physician. I could not have told you who Gay Talese was, only that I knew he was famous for something and had an odd name. I am also a wannabe writer and admire good writing. This is good writing. I have always believed that it often pays to go to the top when you seek something, or have a problem. I bought my dream car, a new Jeep Cherokee Laredo, in 1989 (a bad year for Jeeps because of a defective electrical system) and it was a lemon. In the first six months it was in the shop more often than not. The dealer refused to take it back under the Florida Lemon Laws. So, I sat down and wrote a letter to Lee Iacocca, then President of Chrysler. He did not answer personally, but within days I received a letter from Chrysler headquarters directing me to another dealership to which Chrysler sent a mechanic to fix my car. I drove that Jeep for 13 years and 196,000 miles. When I decided to become a plastic surgeon I chose to seek a position in the residency program of D. Ralph Millard, Jr. I did this for two reasons. The practical one was that his program was in Miami, where I grew up and went to medical school. The other was because he was then arguably the most lauded plastic surgeon in the world for his seminal work in repairing cleft lips and palates in children and for his body of work since then. I did not interview anywhere else. He told me he would not accept me because I was from Miami and had indicated an intention to remain there. He wanted his trainees to go elsewhere and carry on his work. In 1989, I completed my training under him and went on to a practice for 34 years. The story of that interview and my two years training under him are chronicled in The Making of Plastic Surgeon- Two Years in the Crucible Learning the Art and Science, my eBook on Amazon. In 2021, I was banned for life in the Amercian College of Surgeons in which I have been a member for over thirty years because I am a white male and objected to the ACS leadership claims that the ACS is racist, I am a racist, and surgery is racist. That is a perfect story for the Free Press and I would love to tell it.
I posted this a while back asking Beri to have members write an article for FP. I said most who post here are articulate and are educated, whether by schooling or simply a keen observer of life.
I consider most of you, whether we agree or not to be my online friends (Pretty sad, eh?) I enjoy, civil, intelligent back and forth debate, at times heated debate.
Alan, Ha! Your comment reminds of the person who said quitting smoking is easy, he does it all the time. I am about to drop my thirty year plus subscription to Runner's World magazine because of their going down the rabbit hole of wokeism. Story for another day. Rick
Haha! I cancelled my subscription to Bon Appetite after reading a political statement in the Editor's Note at the intro to an issue of the magazine. Please don't interject politics into my foodie reading!
I see it in a professional home building magazine I subscribe too. Constant talk about sustainability, affordability, renewalable resources, etc that are driving up the cost of housing while at the same time featuring products and home design only the 1%'rs could afford.
I'm more tolerant of that type of preaching is doing so might actually be of benefit.
Thirty-five years ago, I got onto natural gas/geothermal electricity generation through a magazine when I was facing the cost of 700 feet of cable for each leg of a 200-amp upgrade.
And, Dr. Richard, I would LOVE to hear that story!
I, too, am racist, or so I was told. At first, I felt terribly offended and downright distraught. Overtime I’ve come to realize anyone who goes against the WOKE Left narrative is also a racist, so I’m not alone.
My conservatives Black friends (includes the Mayor of my town) have all been labeled “White Supremacist person of Color” … so there you have it!
Being labeled by the WOKE Left as a “Racist, Deplorable, Gun toting & Bible thumping, or just fill in the derogatory blank, etc.” is a joke!
Unfortunately, it isn’t funny to the people who have lost their livelihood, reputation, friends and sometimes family members.
I used to drive an 89 Jeep Wrangler. That thing helped me become pretty good friends with a couple of mechanics, I went to see them so often. One guy would offer me a beer whenever I came to pick it up.
After my 1989 Jeep, I drove a Mini-Cooper S for the next 17 years. Six years ago, I purchased a new Jeep Grand Cherokee. Love that car! I have 86,000 mi on it with almost no mechanical/electrical problems. I plan to drive it until it falls apart. You can have your low slung, high-powered sports cars and Teslas. Give me a Jeep any day.
I sent email, late 1990s, to Sulzberger at NYTimes!
Previous day I had come across Neimann Report (Harvard?) which demonstrated how a specific NYTimes court room report on White Water was a blatant lie. I let him have it, without making mention of Neimann Report.
Sub to a’ Star Reporter’ called me! He was surprised to hear about Neimann Report. Was not too keen on getting copy of the report. I pressured him and sent the 5Kb from my floppy disc.
Never heard back. Never saw a retraction. Never trusted NYTimes after that!
Mine started in the Arts section where mediocrity was celebrated without criticism. Then section by section until the last domino fell - the Science section.
Parag, NYTimes, like majority of all MSM, now serve as the propaganda arm of the WOKE Left / Democrats. I dropped my membership during the Trump vs Hillary campaigns. The bias was so over the top blatant in support of Hillary I couldn’t support that. Even Burney Sanders was ignored in favor of promoting Hillary & bashing Trump.
I remember when Joe Biden ran for President the first 2 times. The “then” MSM crucified him for all of his lies and plagiarisms. When confronted, he laughed it off as “oops, oh well” “maybe I exaggerated a bit” but NEVER ever admitted or apologized!
I loved this essay. Thank you for a lovely start to the day. I've been married for 22 years to and have two children with someone that I met because he cold-called me in 1998. (Too long a story for here.) He's also the type of guy to email the CEO when he wants satisfaction. I've also been known to email former teachers years later to let them know how much they meant to me.
I love this! Michael Jordan said “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
Six years after high school, I cold-called this pretty girl I hadn’t known very well but had always wished I’d asked out. I looked up her name and town on Yahoo! People Search and it gave me her number. The following year we were married. Almost 21 years later we have 4 kids.
I wrote a letter to Bukowski 40 years ago just because. Astonished when I received a reply. It was a short correspondence as he had recently renewed a relationship with a girlfriend and she didn’t want him writing to other women.
I had 3 letters from Bukowski I saved them and the envelopes the arrived in. They were typed and then signed. There was also a small caricature along with the signature, an obvious self portrait. I was very sad when he cut me off but girlfriends come from first. I was happy to see some integrity.
You two are too funny. Reminds me of the Alison Krause & Union Station Live album. After the song The Lucky One, as the applause is starting to die down, some guy in the audience shouts "I love you Alison." The crowd chuckles and then gets quiet. Another guy shouts "I love you more." Then the band laughs.
Well jeez, now I want to be your friend too, Mark. I guess I’ll have to jettison a couple of ne’er-do-wells from the ole friend bank, as I like to keep my circle small.
Welcome aboard Bridget 😄 Obviously you made this judicious choice because I’m hilarious but if you find out anything you don’t like from here on feel free to contact one of said jettisoned friends and invite them back and I’ll make way no questions asked.
What a lovely way to start the day! Olivia, as a fellow sender of e-mails to writers who’s work has moved me, I can relate. I’ve received some kind replies but you (deservedly) hit the jackpot!
What I find striking about your story is that you always go after what you want. We should all be living our lives that way but it is a rarity in these uber judgmental times.
My doorbell rang a few years ago and a 10 year old girl said “Hi, I’m Amelia and I just moved into the neighborhood and I’m obsessed with your house. I love modern!” I invited her in for a tour, leaving the front door open. Soon I heard the squeaky voice of her younger sister “Can I come in too?” Soon thereafter, I met their parents and we became friends. Your essay reminded me of Amelia.
My mother in law liked a house in a beautiful neighborhood in north Evanston. Right after she was married, she knocked on the door and asked to buy it if it ever came for sale.
It did and she did. Raised 8 children there and lived and died in it....well over 50 years.
You never know if you don't ask. All they can do is say no. And they might say yes.
One of the things I did not realise until I became a published author is how much letters/emails from readers mean to an author.
Unlike Olivia, I did not cold write my writing heroes or indeed just authors whose work I had enjoyed. Then in 2006 shortly after it was published, I received this letter from a woman who worked in a casino in Las Vegas and who had read my debut Harlequin-- The Gladiator's Honour and wrote to say that it gave her hope. I burst into tears. I still have that email (printed out and in my scrapbook which I use to chase the Crows of Doubt away).
The Crows of Doubt are real and can cause Writer's Block through their incessant cawing and carping and knowing that others have appreciated your work does assist.
Since then, I do write to authors and explain how much their work means to me and how grateful I am that they took the time to write it.
After all writers ultimately write for the people who get their work and it is always gratifying to hear that someone else enjoyed something which came from your imagination.
Thank you for that insight.... I have a question... are writers equally interested in criticism? Is only editorial criticism or writing style criticism more difficult to bear??
I'm not Michelle, but I'm a writer. Constructive criticism is always interesting and often useful, even if it makes me groan or wince. But constructive criticism is rare as hen's teeth.
I have found that most criticism from strangers is more a reflection of the criticizer than a commentary on my work. It's criticism from people who love me that hurts the most.
Celia, I understand “It’s criticism from people who love me that hurts the most” but it goes hand in hand with “is more a reflection of the criticizer”.
In the mid 1990s, while going thru a very difficult time, I began writing poetry. I’ve always loved poetry, but I am not, nor ever aspired to be a poet.
Sometime between midnight and dawn I would wake with an urgency to write. I’d leave my bed and sit in the family room furiously scribbling down my thoughts / feelings. After a couple hours I’d go back to bed exhausted. Next morning I was both shocked & unsettled reading what I’d written that I had no memory of.
The poems were haunting, dark and some were painful to read. They seemed to flow up & out of some deep, hidden place inside me. This continued night after night for a year.
Because of the crisis I was going through, I was fearful I might be writing my “swan song” and was headed for major life changes, or perhaps death. I was very sick at that time.
I began seeing a therapist and learned what I was experiencing was not uncommon. He suggested I not fear it, but embrace it as both cathartic and healing.
I wrote over 300 poems, but didn’t share them for a very long time. I felt they were elementary and too revealing. When I finally decided I had nothing to hide and read a couple to my mother + significant others in my circle, I was overwhelmed with their response of tears and praise and love!
All of this was to prompt me to finally feel comfortable enough to share the experience with my older sister. After allowing her to read a few of my poems, her criticism cut like a knife to the heart! She couldn’t believe MY memories of our childhood were so distorted and inaccurate. She literally scolded me!
I attempted to explain my poems weren’t consciously written, but rather came flowing out in a dreamlike state, and they were, according to my therapist, designed to help me cope & heal. Well, let me just say, my sister was apparently more astute than my therapist. She told me that until I wrote something “light, fun and inspiring” I should absolutely keep them to myself.
If there are third persons for any of those childhood memories I'm 90+% certain they'll differ radically from either of youses memories. If witness reports taken of a crime or accident almost immediately after the same can be totally wrong in respect of camera footage, and differ as wildly with one another as they do, what chance a childhood memory? It has been established now that memory is not a passive recording; however innsccurate; but an active process in which we are continually editing our memories to fit the person we are now; not the person we were yesterday.
Publish and be damned. The judgement of literature, like that of all the arts, is subjective. The moment the words on the page are in the hands of the public, the author is metaphorically dead; the reader imposes their own meaning on the author's work anywho.
It depends on the author. And sometimes, a bad or even a meh review can hit very hard. You need to remember that no one is born published. Most authors have suffered many rejections before becoming published. Rule of thumb -- a bad review or rejection can ruin morning coffee but should never ruin supper as well.
An editor or agent's comments are the most important and are generally geared towards making the manuscript better. You have to learn to work with both and understand what they are actually saying. It can be a case of concentrating on the doughnut and not the hole -- if that makes any sense.
And sometimes with readers -- it depends on their insight. For example, if you write a story with a short, blonde hair heroine who has lots of curves and a past a reader writes wondering why you didn't choose a tall dark haired slender virgin -- there is very little you can take from that.
But it is always good that they cared enough to write...
Thanks to you and Celia M for responding. The reason I asked was that I read new authors on my kindle and Amazon will often ask for feedback or a review. I have yet to receive any comments from the authors. I cannot determine if its because they didn't agree with my feedback, or it wasn't instructive. The vast majority of any criticism I have given is due to typographical errors or editing errors like inconsistencies within the plot. Is this because my comments are not helpful? I always give good feedback on the merits of the stories or the characters they build.
Publishers generally instruct authors not to respond to any review. They can read them and sometimes take them to heart, but generally it does not help anyone if they respond, particularly to a harsh review. I have seen too many flame wars etc in my time and so know this to be sound advice. It is also best if an author doesn't get her dedicated readers to respond either. I don't know if you have read this new report from PEN America but it does describe some of the problems writers have had with social media including some of the trouble with online reviews: https://pen.org/report/booklash/ and if you haven't signed the Freedom to Read statement, please consider doing so.
Writing directly to an author should get a response. I always try to respond if a reader writes directly to me ...particularly when the reader has questions etc. But there have been times when I have written to authors because I have particularly enjoyed a book and haven't had responses so I guess all authors are different.
There are many times when I can't even read reviews on Amazon or Good Reads as it can mess with my process. I finally had to come to the conclusion that I write for my readers who enjoy my books and if I make mistakes, I can try harder the next time.
PD James used to tell stories about the mistakes she accidentally made including sending characters by the wrong train or having the wrong engine in a motorcycle etc. so I figure I am in good company. And as an author, I am always sorry if my mistakes are such that a reader is drawn out of the story as that is never my intention. My intention is always to create a story which grips and allows the reader to escape for the time they are reading it.
Comments on typographical or editing errors wouldn't normally require a response, unless clarification is needed. But many authors, once a book is actually published, can't do much about such errors. Constructive criticism is typically only useful BEFORE publication, except as general advice for future books.
If you're posting reviews on Amazon, it's worth noting that an author *responding* to a review on their work is generally considered bad form.
I am going to ask my teenagers - a HS senior and a freshman - to read this piece, and I am saving it for the younger two when they’re old enough to absorb it. I hope that it will inspire them. Last week, my senior and I spent a few days touring colleges. We had pre-scheduled admissions tours at most, but a few were cold calls for a variety of reasons. The cold calls were by far our most rewarding experiences. At one school, we were given a cook’s tour of the engineering department; at another, a gracious admissions counselor sat down with us for 30 minutes and imparted endless amounts of wisdom not only on the school but on how to ace the college admissions process. This essay is beautifully timed for my senior in particular, as though to put the exclamation point on that experience.
This resonates with my soul. I cannot count the number of times a well-timed thank you note after a job interview, an inquiry about a position disguised as a chance to sell myself, passive aggressive hate mail to ex lovers, etc. have all served me well. Well done, Olivia.
I loved this essay! It’s my favorite among everything I’ve read via the Free Press, and that’s a high bar to clear. Olivia: keep writing! A cold email landed me my husband, a writer whose work I admired. Five years - and one darling little boy later - and we’re more in love than ever.
Most people do what they think other people expect them to do, most of the time. And if most people are doing this, then you get circular idiocy. People who really don't give a [rhymes with duck, tuck, muck and suck], or who can at least put their fears on hold for a moment, tend to stand out.
That has been my experience.
There are many quotes on individuality, but my two favorites are "you may as well be yourself; everyone else is already taken", by Oscar Wilde; and "you may as well be yourself: no one can tell you you are doing it wrong", by Charles Schultz.
It seems unlikely we ever WERE a nation of rugged individualists, but it does seem clear we used to value such a thing vastly more, at least rhetorically. And our Founding Fathers genuinely were their own men. They thought for themselves, spoke for themselves, and had opinions they held firmly enough to negotiate about with others peacefully.
I will add I did get a short email back from Thomas Sowell once, which surprised me. You never know in life, until you try. The odds may be close to zero in the one case and actually zero in the other, but since action brings a non-zero possibility into the equation, the odds are mathematically infinitely higher if you try.
talk about a feel good story to start the day, fun read and great writing. it's nice to read something positive in a day and age where stories of callous behavior dominate
That is what I was going to say. Olivia, thank you for this! A feel-good story and a roadmap for a life fully lived.
Me too. Too often FP is too serious and at times dark. This was a wonderful piece. It brightened my day.
I had the same feeling, Rob and now I can include Lisa G.
Olivia’s story provided a much needed balance to offset the heavy stories.
I left out the link in girl power. Watch it to the end. It will surprise you. There is more to the story than going to the little league world series:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/mlb/little-league-umpire-makes-unforgivable-mistake-during-regional-game/ar-AA1f1aNJ?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=eba6a7851a564f3eae9531dc2975f6e8&ei=21
Cute. Here's a feel good sports story: https://www.battleswarmblog.com/?p=55560
I loved this story of a girl pitching for a team going to the Little league World series. She throws a 70 mile an hour fast ball, amazing.
I liked your link. More states need to do this.
What happens when some nut claims he or she is a dog? Do they get to compete in the AKC competitions?
Nice Little League story!
Regarding the AKC - that would be the luggage thief, Sam Brinton. I believe it is a kink thing to wear dog masks and engage in fetish. There is no end to where this goes and I think that is the point.
Here is another feel good story. I loved it. Girl Power!!!
May you live long and prosper at The Free Press. I enjoyed this piece about almost nothing, except for the very valuable advice to communicate rather than ruminate. Can’t wait for your next piece.
Communicate rather than ruminate. Love it. 💯
I can't quite explain why, but this introduction that Olivia has written for herself made me emotional - a bit weepy - but in such a good way. I suspect it's because of how genuine and earnest she is and how rare that seems to be in this wicked cancel culture era. I look forward to reading everything she writes now! The Free Press is restoring my faith in journalism bit by bit. And I love that I don't agree with every single thing that I read on here. I also love the irony that Bari's refusal to be cancelled was the springboard for TFP.
I went to send the piece to a friend and then struggled to explain exactly what was so compelling that I wanted to share it. I realized that it was not what the piece was about (as one commenter said, it was "about almost nothing") it was about how I felt. I was both under-rested and undercaffeinated, and yet I found myself smiling throughout.
Well said, SandiB, and I totally agree! I don’t always agree with what TFP offers, but the fact that Bari allows us this platform to openly comment our disagreements, without fear of being cancelled, is why I will continue to support TFP. Plus, except for a couple of commenters we’ve all come to recognize, people are generally well mannered and respectful even in their disagreements.
Exactly...this is our "safe space" LOL!
"...I suspect it's because of how genuine and earnest she is...."
Sadly, both of these will quickly succumb under the withering attacks of reality...like the $5,000/month rent she faces in the metropolis of her choice. They will be replaced with writing what sells.
There remains room, however, for writing for the sake of wanting to write. I look forward to The Free Press giving Ms. Reingold the opportunity to do so, perhaps a monthly sidebar on a topic of her interest.
Ouch and true...how could it not be? But there are other truths being put forward also.
I am an illiterate (but learning) physician. I could not have told you who Gay Talese was, only that I knew he was famous for something and had an odd name. I am also a wannabe writer and admire good writing. This is good writing. I have always believed that it often pays to go to the top when you seek something, or have a problem. I bought my dream car, a new Jeep Cherokee Laredo, in 1989 (a bad year for Jeeps because of a defective electrical system) and it was a lemon. In the first six months it was in the shop more often than not. The dealer refused to take it back under the Florida Lemon Laws. So, I sat down and wrote a letter to Lee Iacocca, then President of Chrysler. He did not answer personally, but within days I received a letter from Chrysler headquarters directing me to another dealership to which Chrysler sent a mechanic to fix my car. I drove that Jeep for 13 years and 196,000 miles. When I decided to become a plastic surgeon I chose to seek a position in the residency program of D. Ralph Millard, Jr. I did this for two reasons. The practical one was that his program was in Miami, where I grew up and went to medical school. The other was because he was then arguably the most lauded plastic surgeon in the world for his seminal work in repairing cleft lips and palates in children and for his body of work since then. I did not interview anywhere else. He told me he would not accept me because I was from Miami and had indicated an intention to remain there. He wanted his trainees to go elsewhere and carry on his work. In 1989, I completed my training under him and went on to a practice for 34 years. The story of that interview and my two years training under him are chronicled in The Making of Plastic Surgeon- Two Years in the Crucible Learning the Art and Science, my eBook on Amazon. In 2021, I was banned for life in the Amercian College of Surgeons in which I have been a member for over thirty years because I am a white male and objected to the ACS leadership claims that the ACS is racist, I am a racist, and surgery is racist. That is a perfect story for the Free Press and I would love to tell it.
And we would love to hear it.
Fascinating. Bari, give the man a forum, please.
I posted this a while back asking Beri to have members write an article for FP. I said most who post here are articulate and are educated, whether by schooling or simply a keen observer of life.
I consider most of you, whether we agree or not to be my online friends (Pretty sad, eh?) I enjoy, civil, intelligent back and forth debate, at times heated debate.
So come on Bari. Let the Doc tell his story.
OK...Can we consider that you are less lonesome?
"I enjoy, civil, intelligent back and forth debate."
LOL!!!!!!!!
As Groucho Marx said “he wouldnt belong to a club that would have him as a member”
Why we docs dont quit supporting these organizations is beyond me. I never jouined the ama and have canceled the nejm many times
Alan, Ha! Your comment reminds of the person who said quitting smoking is easy, he does it all the time. I am about to drop my thirty year plus subscription to Runner's World magazine because of their going down the rabbit hole of wokeism. Story for another day. Rick
Haha! I cancelled my subscription to Bon Appetite after reading a political statement in the Editor's Note at the intro to an issue of the magazine. Please don't interject politics into my foodie reading!
I also canceled my subscription after reading (probably) the same note.
Ah, but, most good political arguments happen over lunch or dinner.
As long as the politics don't get into the recipies, why deprive your taste bud?
I gave those mags when I twigged to the fact that they repeat ever five or six years....
I see it in a professional home building magazine I subscribe too. Constant talk about sustainability, affordability, renewalable resources, etc that are driving up the cost of housing while at the same time featuring products and home design only the 1%'rs could afford.
I'm more tolerant of that type of preaching is doing so might actually be of benefit.
Thirty-five years ago, I got onto natural gas/geothermal electricity generation through a magazine when I was facing the cost of 700 feet of cable for each leg of a 200-amp upgrade.
I like having my power company send me checks.
C'mon Doc ! I'd love to hear how Runners World went woke.
Coming soon. Check out my blog in a week or so.
Excellent. Looking forward to it. Was a subscriber to Runner's World back in my running days. Sad to hear but in no way surprising.
And, Dr. Richard, I would LOVE to hear that story!
I, too, am racist, or so I was told. At first, I felt terribly offended and downright distraught. Overtime I’ve come to realize anyone who goes against the WOKE Left narrative is also a racist, so I’m not alone.
My conservatives Black friends (includes the Mayor of my town) have all been labeled “White Supremacist person of Color” … so there you have it!
Being labeled by the WOKE Left as a “Racist, Deplorable, Gun toting & Bible thumping, or just fill in the derogatory blank, etc.” is a joke!
Unfortunately, it isn’t funny to the people who have lost their livelihood, reputation, friends and sometimes family members.
I knew that about you the first time I ever read any of your posts.
I too am insensitive racist. Just ask compro
It is now a badge of honor. Wear it proudly. May I call you Honey, Honey? I don't want to be called a misogynist. :-)
Ha, yes, Michael Frankel! My name is Pamela, but absolutely you may call me Honey, everyone does, even/especially my Grandchildren. 😊
My mother called everyone honey
In our household, "Honey" was reserved for the insufferable.
What Bruce said. Great article Doc.
You may also try Sensible Medicine Substack as a possible forum!
I follow Sensible Medicine as a reliable source. I don't agree with everything, but I regard it as a real effort to bring science back into medicine.
B.S.
Short and succinct. What exactly is BS? Not what does it mean (we all know), but to what are you referring? Inquisitive minds want to know.
I used to drive an 89 Jeep Wrangler. That thing helped me become pretty good friends with a couple of mechanics, I went to see them so often. One guy would offer me a beer whenever I came to pick it up.
After my 1989 Jeep, I drove a Mini-Cooper S for the next 17 years. Six years ago, I purchased a new Jeep Grand Cherokee. Love that car! I have 86,000 mi on it with almost no mechanical/electrical problems. I plan to drive it until it falls apart. You can have your low slung, high-powered sports cars and Teslas. Give me a Jeep any day.
You’ve got my vote.
Send that cold email..
I sent email, late 1990s, to Sulzberger at NYTimes!
Previous day I had come across Neimann Report (Harvard?) which demonstrated how a specific NYTimes court room report on White Water was a blatant lie. I let him have it, without making mention of Neimann Report.
Sub to a’ Star Reporter’ called me! He was surprised to hear about Neimann Report. Was not too keen on getting copy of the report. I pressured him and sent the 5Kb from my floppy disc.
Never heard back. Never saw a retraction. Never trusted NYTimes after that!
The beginning of your Ministry of Truth experience!
Mine started in the Arts section where mediocrity was celebrated without criticism. Then section by section until the last domino fell - the Science section.
Walter Duranty should have been your first clue that the Times is garbage.
Piss NYT
Somethings never change
I caught them in a outright lie about ten years ago and canceled my subscription.
Parag, NYTimes, like majority of all MSM, now serve as the propaganda arm of the WOKE Left / Democrats. I dropped my membership during the Trump vs Hillary campaigns. The bias was so over the top blatant in support of Hillary I couldn’t support that. Even Burney Sanders was ignored in favor of promoting Hillary & bashing Trump.
I remember when Joe Biden ran for President the first 2 times. The “then” MSM crucified him for all of his lies and plagiarisms. When confronted, he laughed it off as “oops, oh well” “maybe I exaggerated a bit” but NEVER ever admitted or apologized!
I loved this essay. Thank you for a lovely start to the day. I've been married for 22 years to and have two children with someone that I met because he cold-called me in 1998. (Too long a story for here.) He's also the type of guy to email the CEO when he wants satisfaction. I've also been known to email former teachers years later to let them know how much they meant to me.
I love this! Michael Jordan said “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
Six years after high school, I cold-called this pretty girl I hadn’t known very well but had always wished I’d asked out. I looked up her name and town on Yahoo! People Search and it gave me her number. The following year we were married. Almost 21 years later we have 4 kids.
love this
I wrote a letter to Bukowski 40 years ago just because. Astonished when I received a reply. It was a short correspondence as he had recently renewed a relationship with a girlfriend and she didn’t want him writing to other women.
😂😂😂
Lol! Bukowski is one of my favorites. That reply is so him. I hope you kept it.
I had 3 letters from Bukowski I saved them and the envelopes the arrived in. They were typed and then signed. There was also a small caricature along with the signature, an obvious self portrait. I was very sad when he cut me off but girlfriends come from first. I was happy to see some integrity.
Dear Olivia Reingold,
And this is why I read TFP. What a lovely way to wake up.
Will you please be my spirit animal?
Regards,
Bridget
No, be mine Olivia. I’m better than Bridget! What kind of name is LeRoy anyway? Seriously 🤪
You two are too funny. Reminds me of the Alison Krause & Union Station Live album. After the song The Lucky One, as the applause is starting to die down, some guy in the audience shouts "I love you Alison." The crowd chuckles and then gets quiet. Another guy shouts "I love you more." Then the band laughs.
That album is so good!
Well jeez, now I want to be your friend too, Mark. I guess I’ll have to jettison a couple of ne’er-do-wells from the ole friend bank, as I like to keep my circle small.
Welcome aboard Bridget 😄 Obviously you made this judicious choice because I’m hilarious but if you find out anything you don’t like from here on feel free to contact one of said jettisoned friends and invite them back and I’ll make way no questions asked.
What a lovely way to start the day! Olivia, as a fellow sender of e-mails to writers who’s work has moved me, I can relate. I’ve received some kind replies but you (deservedly) hit the jackpot!
I'm glad you sent that letter to Bari. Your contributions have been edifying and entertaining.
What I find striking about your story is that you always go after what you want. We should all be living our lives that way but it is a rarity in these uber judgmental times.
My doorbell rang a few years ago and a 10 year old girl said “Hi, I’m Amelia and I just moved into the neighborhood and I’m obsessed with your house. I love modern!” I invited her in for a tour, leaving the front door open. Soon I heard the squeaky voice of her younger sister “Can I come in too?” Soon thereafter, I met their parents and we became friends. Your essay reminded me of Amelia.
My mother in law liked a house in a beautiful neighborhood in north Evanston. Right after she was married, she knocked on the door and asked to buy it if it ever came for sale.
It did and she did. Raised 8 children there and lived and died in it....well over 50 years.
You never know if you don't ask. All they can do is say no. And they might say yes.
Captured in the art of selling.
I’ve always told my children, “what’s the worst that can happen? They will say 'no.'”
Exactly, Sara, I have said that many times!
wow. I just posted a very similar story. nice!!!!
You never know if you don’t ask.
One of the things I did not realise until I became a published author is how much letters/emails from readers mean to an author.
Unlike Olivia, I did not cold write my writing heroes or indeed just authors whose work I had enjoyed. Then in 2006 shortly after it was published, I received this letter from a woman who worked in a casino in Las Vegas and who had read my debut Harlequin-- The Gladiator's Honour and wrote to say that it gave her hope. I burst into tears. I still have that email (printed out and in my scrapbook which I use to chase the Crows of Doubt away).
The Crows of Doubt are real and can cause Writer's Block through their incessant cawing and carping and knowing that others have appreciated your work does assist.
Since then, I do write to authors and explain how much their work means to me and how grateful I am that they took the time to write it.
After all writers ultimately write for the people who get their work and it is always gratifying to hear that someone else enjoyed something which came from your imagination.
Thank you for that insight.... I have a question... are writers equally interested in criticism? Is only editorial criticism or writing style criticism more difficult to bear??
I'm not Michelle, but I'm a writer. Constructive criticism is always interesting and often useful, even if it makes me groan or wince. But constructive criticism is rare as hen's teeth.
I have found that most criticism from strangers is more a reflection of the criticizer than a commentary on my work. It's criticism from people who love me that hurts the most.
Celia, I understand “It’s criticism from people who love me that hurts the most” but it goes hand in hand with “is more a reflection of the criticizer”.
In the mid 1990s, while going thru a very difficult time, I began writing poetry. I’ve always loved poetry, but I am not, nor ever aspired to be a poet.
Sometime between midnight and dawn I would wake with an urgency to write. I’d leave my bed and sit in the family room furiously scribbling down my thoughts / feelings. After a couple hours I’d go back to bed exhausted. Next morning I was both shocked & unsettled reading what I’d written that I had no memory of.
The poems were haunting, dark and some were painful to read. They seemed to flow up & out of some deep, hidden place inside me. This continued night after night for a year.
Because of the crisis I was going through, I was fearful I might be writing my “swan song” and was headed for major life changes, or perhaps death. I was very sick at that time.
I began seeing a therapist and learned what I was experiencing was not uncommon. He suggested I not fear it, but embrace it as both cathartic and healing.
I wrote over 300 poems, but didn’t share them for a very long time. I felt they were elementary and too revealing. When I finally decided I had nothing to hide and read a couple to my mother + significant others in my circle, I was overwhelmed with their response of tears and praise and love!
All of this was to prompt me to finally feel comfortable enough to share the experience with my older sister. After allowing her to read a few of my poems, her criticism cut like a knife to the heart! She couldn’t believe MY memories of our childhood were so distorted and inaccurate. She literally scolded me!
I attempted to explain my poems weren’t consciously written, but rather came flowing out in a dreamlike state, and they were, according to my therapist, designed to help me cope & heal. Well, let me just say, my sister was apparently more astute than my therapist. She told me that until I wrote something “light, fun and inspiring” I should absolutely keep them to myself.
If there are third persons for any of those childhood memories I'm 90+% certain they'll differ radically from either of youses memories. If witness reports taken of a crime or accident almost immediately after the same can be totally wrong in respect of camera footage, and differ as wildly with one another as they do, what chance a childhood memory? It has been established now that memory is not a passive recording; however innsccurate; but an active process in which we are continually editing our memories to fit the person we are now; not the person we were yesterday.
Publish and be damned. The judgement of literature, like that of all the arts, is subjective. The moment the words on the page are in the hands of the public, the author is metaphorically dead; the reader imposes their own meaning on the author's work anywho.
Sorry your sister was so unkind!
It depends on the author. And sometimes, a bad or even a meh review can hit very hard. You need to remember that no one is born published. Most authors have suffered many rejections before becoming published. Rule of thumb -- a bad review or rejection can ruin morning coffee but should never ruin supper as well.
An editor or agent's comments are the most important and are generally geared towards making the manuscript better. You have to learn to work with both and understand what they are actually saying. It can be a case of concentrating on the doughnut and not the hole -- if that makes any sense.
And sometimes with readers -- it depends on their insight. For example, if you write a story with a short, blonde hair heroine who has lots of curves and a past a reader writes wondering why you didn't choose a tall dark haired slender virgin -- there is very little you can take from that.
But it is always good that they cared enough to write...
Thanks to you and Celia M for responding. The reason I asked was that I read new authors on my kindle and Amazon will often ask for feedback or a review. I have yet to receive any comments from the authors. I cannot determine if its because they didn't agree with my feedback, or it wasn't instructive. The vast majority of any criticism I have given is due to typographical errors or editing errors like inconsistencies within the plot. Is this because my comments are not helpful? I always give good feedback on the merits of the stories or the characters they build.
Publishers generally instruct authors not to respond to any review. They can read them and sometimes take them to heart, but generally it does not help anyone if they respond, particularly to a harsh review. I have seen too many flame wars etc in my time and so know this to be sound advice. It is also best if an author doesn't get her dedicated readers to respond either. I don't know if you have read this new report from PEN America but it does describe some of the problems writers have had with social media including some of the trouble with online reviews: https://pen.org/report/booklash/ and if you haven't signed the Freedom to Read statement, please consider doing so.
Writing directly to an author should get a response. I always try to respond if a reader writes directly to me ...particularly when the reader has questions etc. But there have been times when I have written to authors because I have particularly enjoyed a book and haven't had responses so I guess all authors are different.
There are many times when I can't even read reviews on Amazon or Good Reads as it can mess with my process. I finally had to come to the conclusion that I write for my readers who enjoy my books and if I make mistakes, I can try harder the next time.
PD James used to tell stories about the mistakes she accidentally made including sending characters by the wrong train or having the wrong engine in a motorcycle etc. so I figure I am in good company. And as an author, I am always sorry if my mistakes are such that a reader is drawn out of the story as that is never my intention. My intention is always to create a story which grips and allows the reader to escape for the time they are reading it.
Comments on typographical or editing errors wouldn't normally require a response, unless clarification is needed. But many authors, once a book is actually published, can't do much about such errors. Constructive criticism is typically only useful BEFORE publication, except as general advice for future books.
If you're posting reviews on Amazon, it's worth noting that an author *responding* to a review on their work is generally considered bad form.
I am going to ask my teenagers - a HS senior and a freshman - to read this piece, and I am saving it for the younger two when they’re old enough to absorb it. I hope that it will inspire them. Last week, my senior and I spent a few days touring colleges. We had pre-scheduled admissions tours at most, but a few were cold calls for a variety of reasons. The cold calls were by far our most rewarding experiences. At one school, we were given a cook’s tour of the engineering department; at another, a gracious admissions counselor sat down with us for 30 minutes and imparted endless amounts of wisdom not only on the school but on how to ace the college admissions process. This essay is beautifully timed for my senior in particular, as though to put the exclamation point on that experience.
This resonates with my soul. I cannot count the number of times a well-timed thank you note after a job interview, an inquiry about a position disguised as a chance to sell myself, passive aggressive hate mail to ex lovers, etc. have all served me well. Well done, Olivia.
I loved this essay! It’s my favorite among everything I’ve read via the Free Press, and that’s a high bar to clear. Olivia: keep writing! A cold email landed me my husband, a writer whose work I admired. Five years - and one darling little boy later - and we’re more in love than ever.
Most people do what they think other people expect them to do, most of the time. And if most people are doing this, then you get circular idiocy. People who really don't give a [rhymes with duck, tuck, muck and suck], or who can at least put their fears on hold for a moment, tend to stand out.
That has been my experience.
There are many quotes on individuality, but my two favorites are "you may as well be yourself; everyone else is already taken", by Oscar Wilde; and "you may as well be yourself: no one can tell you you are doing it wrong", by Charles Schultz.
It seems unlikely we ever WERE a nation of rugged individualists, but it does seem clear we used to value such a thing vastly more, at least rhetorically. And our Founding Fathers genuinely were their own men. They thought for themselves, spoke for themselves, and had opinions they held firmly enough to negotiate about with others peacefully.
I will add I did get a short email back from Thomas Sowell once, which surprised me. You never know in life, until you try. The odds may be close to zero in the one case and actually zero in the other, but since action brings a non-zero possibility into the equation, the odds are mathematically infinitely higher if you try.
I have as well. A class act all around
Barry, I love Thomas Sowell! That would have been a big win!
Hancock's big, bold signature was certainly a FU to crazy King George.