Two new TV dating reality shows are uncomfortable, awkward, and embarrassing. In other words, they’re everything that falling in love is supposed to be.
“the person doing the choosing ends up looking past whatever body part they’re meant to be judging, and instead taking notice of things like posture, tattoos, body language. The yearning for connection is palpable”
———————————————————
Are you sure that, instead of yearning for connection, this isn’t just because the contestant has watched so much porn that nudity no longer phases them?
Why is it the women who always have to expose themselves, either physically or emotionally? Only asking rhetorically. Actually I’m rooting for the contestant in the track suit. Tommy Hilfinger? There’s something so didn’t-get-the-memo refreshing and different about her. You go, girl!
Meanwhile, my husband and I just finished up the first season of M*A*S*H on old-fashioned DVDs. Perfectly charming. Next up, maybe Mary Tyler Moore.
I love Kat's stuff. Not one of my favorites, but interesting none the less.
Being single in a digital age, an incredibly cynical age, is a form of hell.
Doing the same in a time where people are convinced that it is better to have never loved than to have loved and lost, that...that is just heinous.
I hate to say it, but I feel like we have convinced people that life is supposed to be lived safely with no chance of physical or emotional harm. We have taught them to be cowards.
A full and exciting life requires courage because it requires taking risks.
To this day, I find people who wear helmets when skiing sad. To not know the thrill of a fast downhill run, skiing on the edge, with the wind in your face and hair? Why bother?
I see these people who only eat healthy, regiment their lives to stay perfectly healthy, do everything they can to live longer but who will never allow themselves a rich dinner in a French restaurant with good drinks, fatty food, and a rich desert, and I wonder what it is precisely they are living longer for.
I see a generation today that wants and expects to live safely in all ways all the time, but they live boring and lonely lives. They are really really expert at making the perfect the enemy of the good. If they cannot have the filet and are offered at sirloin, they will sit by themselves and have an iceberg salad with oil.
The same is kinda true for romantic encounters. The best come with risk.
There's a plethora of dating shows now that are normalizing extremely rare and unhealthy relationships. These two don't seem so bad -- the Golden Bachelor is borderline wholesome -- that's the kind of dating shows we *should* have! Naked Attraction is a bit weirder in that it so explicitly puts sexual attraction before all the more important parts of love, but all right, I mean that's basically 50% of dating/meeting people anyways.
But BBC is doing a lot of dating shows lately for people with really out-there fetishes. And it's not like the individual people don't deserve love -- quite the contrary, if you're a furry who wants to be led around on a leash, and can find someone who will do that for you and is into it, that's great. But to advertise that as a healthy basis for a long-term relationship is extremely irresponsible. It's a kink, and an extremely rare one (and I'm willing to go out on a limb and say there are 50x more people that want to dress up as dogs as people who want to lead them around in public, so if that's your dating profile pitch, you're just setting yourself up for loneliness). More generally, matching sexual fetishes isn't really the greatest indicator of success in a relationship.
Of course, my conspiracy-theory brain goes to the idea that one reason these shows might be so heavily promoted is depopulation (eg fewer children to fight climate change). However, the more primitive explanation is simply that these dating shows are incredibly popular and make money, so they just keep pushing the envelope further and further with increasing kinks and an increasing focus on sex (even though fewer and fewer of gen-Z are actually *having* sex... go figure).
The primary issue with online dating is not the vulnerability or cringeworthy moments but, in reality, math. Never watching a Batchelor/Bachelorette show, I don't know what the ratings are, but if it's 10 to 1 or 15 to 1, that is a lot to choose from. The person on the show has a lot of options. Both people have many options in online dating, making picking the one really hard. The odds of both picking each other are high.
The second thing is that seeing couples thrive, peter out, or turn into a dumpster fire, the goal is to create a union around specific values and beliefs. Those who do well are fully aligned in either cultural or religious beliefs. The people are part of a union within a team rather than many single people, which is the individual religion of me, me, me. In lasting relationships, one has to love the person but also the lifestyle and agree on the traditional gender roles.
For men, figuring out what kind of woman you are dating is a challenge. I would rather see a naked mind than a body. Some women get mad if you pick up the check, and others will rage if you don't. Speaking from experience, the new world of options with no gender rules makes for many dates without finding the mythical love these shows aspire to find.
I am done with the superficial, objectifying, bizarre approaches our culture now takes when it comes to relationships bwtween men and women. It endangers marriage, friendships and even work relationships. We're in trouble as a nation.
“if you’re lucky enough to meet the right person, and brave enough to look like a fool, you can be totally cringe together for the rest of your lives.”
—————————————————-
Subtweeting the hell out of Joe and Kamala will this closing sentence.
“the person doing the choosing ends up looking past whatever body part they’re meant to be judging, and instead taking notice of things like posture, tattoos, body language. The yearning for connection is palpable”
———————————————————
Are you sure that, instead of yearning for connection, this isn’t just because the contestant has watched so much porn that nudity no longer phases them?
“Do you like vaginas?”
The host of Naked Attraction—a new British reality series on Max (formerly HBO Max)—puts the question earnestly to a male contestant”
—————————————————
If this was a US-based show this question would be followed by
“Then you’re gonna love penises!!”
with the contestant knowing he will be unemployable if he doesn’t learn to love penises.
Why is it the women who always have to expose themselves, either physically or emotionally? Only asking rhetorically. Actually I’m rooting for the contestant in the track suit. Tommy Hilfinger? There’s something so didn’t-get-the-memo refreshing and different about her. You go, girl!
Meanwhile, my husband and I just finished up the first season of M*A*S*H on old-fashioned DVDs. Perfectly charming. Next up, maybe Mary Tyler Moore.
I love Kat's stuff. Not one of my favorites, but interesting none the less.
Being single in a digital age, an incredibly cynical age, is a form of hell.
Doing the same in a time where people are convinced that it is better to have never loved than to have loved and lost, that...that is just heinous.
I hate to say it, but I feel like we have convinced people that life is supposed to be lived safely with no chance of physical or emotional harm. We have taught them to be cowards.
A full and exciting life requires courage because it requires taking risks.
To this day, I find people who wear helmets when skiing sad. To not know the thrill of a fast downhill run, skiing on the edge, with the wind in your face and hair? Why bother?
I see these people who only eat healthy, regiment their lives to stay perfectly healthy, do everything they can to live longer but who will never allow themselves a rich dinner in a French restaurant with good drinks, fatty food, and a rich desert, and I wonder what it is precisely they are living longer for.
I see a generation today that wants and expects to live safely in all ways all the time, but they live boring and lonely lives. They are really really expert at making the perfect the enemy of the good. If they cannot have the filet and are offered at sirloin, they will sit by themselves and have an iceberg salad with oil.
The same is kinda true for romantic encounters. The best come with risk.
Can't wait for the next installment: The Villages: when the pickleball lights go out.
letting it all hang out. Literally. Please tell me this is a joke.
This garbage sinks below any minimal human standards. What's next, worshipping Baal?
You have GOT to be kidding me!!! Has The Free Press fallen THIS far? This is WORSE than People, and US magazines! And I have to pay for this?
Who cares about this stupid show?
I pay for this subscription I want better journalism, more investigative reporting.
I hope Bari investigates the recent Palestinian attack on Israel.
HOW IRONIC it comes right after Iran receives a big chunk of money from the US, thank you Biden(Obama).
WHAT A COINCIDENCE
There's a plethora of dating shows now that are normalizing extremely rare and unhealthy relationships. These two don't seem so bad -- the Golden Bachelor is borderline wholesome -- that's the kind of dating shows we *should* have! Naked Attraction is a bit weirder in that it so explicitly puts sexual attraction before all the more important parts of love, but all right, I mean that's basically 50% of dating/meeting people anyways.
But BBC is doing a lot of dating shows lately for people with really out-there fetishes. And it's not like the individual people don't deserve love -- quite the contrary, if you're a furry who wants to be led around on a leash, and can find someone who will do that for you and is into it, that's great. But to advertise that as a healthy basis for a long-term relationship is extremely irresponsible. It's a kink, and an extremely rare one (and I'm willing to go out on a limb and say there are 50x more people that want to dress up as dogs as people who want to lead them around in public, so if that's your dating profile pitch, you're just setting yourself up for loneliness). More generally, matching sexual fetishes isn't really the greatest indicator of success in a relationship.
Of course, my conspiracy-theory brain goes to the idea that one reason these shows might be so heavily promoted is depopulation (eg fewer children to fight climate change). However, the more primitive explanation is simply that these dating shows are incredibly popular and make money, so they just keep pushing the envelope further and further with increasing kinks and an increasing focus on sex (even though fewer and fewer of gen-Z are actually *having* sex... go figure).
The primary issue with online dating is not the vulnerability or cringeworthy moments but, in reality, math. Never watching a Batchelor/Bachelorette show, I don't know what the ratings are, but if it's 10 to 1 or 15 to 1, that is a lot to choose from. The person on the show has a lot of options. Both people have many options in online dating, making picking the one really hard. The odds of both picking each other are high.
The second thing is that seeing couples thrive, peter out, or turn into a dumpster fire, the goal is to create a union around specific values and beliefs. Those who do well are fully aligned in either cultural or religious beliefs. The people are part of a union within a team rather than many single people, which is the individual religion of me, me, me. In lasting relationships, one has to love the person but also the lifestyle and agree on the traditional gender roles.
For men, figuring out what kind of woman you are dating is a challenge. I would rather see a naked mind than a body. Some women get mad if you pick up the check, and others will rage if you don't. Speaking from experience, the new world of options with no gender rules makes for many dates without finding the mythical love these shows aspire to find.
I can’t take anyone who uses the word cringe as a noun seriously.
I’ve never watched these kind of shows. I’ve seen one episode of a housewives
All I can say is you watched so I don’t have to
I am done with the superficial, objectifying, bizarre approaches our culture now takes when it comes to relationships bwtween men and women. It endangers marriage, friendships and even work relationships. We're in trouble as a nation.
“if you’re lucky enough to meet the right person, and brave enough to look like a fool, you can be totally cringe together for the rest of your lives.”
—————————————————-
Subtweeting the hell out of Joe and Kamala will this closing sentence.
<---- Marked safe....from never ever watching such nonsense.
Actually can’t believe I read this. I’ve never watched one of these shows, now I know why.
As an aside though, do they ever have a woman seeking love and surrounded by an equally motley crew of men?